As I have previously mentioned on the blog, I am in the midst of planning Lila’s first birthday. We are now only 2 days away! I’m so excited and busy and terrified. I don’t think I’ve worn makeup in over two weeks because who needs make up when you’re running around party stores and baking all day? I’m about halfway done with the desserts for the dessert table, but also adding about 3 things a day to my to do list. Planning a birthday party especially a first birthday is no joke. I really am so excited to be doing all this and creating all this chaos for Lila, but I know there are people that wonder why moms and parents throw such elaborate birthday parties for their kids. And it hit me the other day.
I was driving yet again to HEB listening to worship music with Lila asleep in the backseat, and I just started crying. It felt like all the emotion of the past year wanted to fall on me during my drive for groceries. Every memory, milestone and smile flooded my eyes. So much happens and changes in the first year of their life, and for me it felt like someone stole time from me. How could it have possibly already been a year? Wasn’t it yesterday that she was so new and tiny, and now she’s walking and talking. I’m home with Lila every day, and still it feels like someone rushed this year, like they pushed fast forward. And I hate it. I need time to slow down; I need every day to be a little longer, a little slower.
This is why I think parents put so much into these parties because if we didn’t, if we were only focused on this huge milestone and passing of time, I don’t think we could handle it. I couldn’t. I can handle cookies and cake pops and decorations. I can’t handle thinking that one year is gone. She might be my baby, but she’s no longer a baby. She walks and talks and has opinions. It is so exciting in the most heartbreaking way. I can’t imagine that any birthday is easier than the next, they all symbolize the same thing. That time moves fast, too fast.
So this is why moms put so much into these parties. Putting all that energy into something that is so exciting full of friends and family, is so much easier than focusing all your energy on what the day means. Of course moms love to celebrate their child and to do anything and everything they can for them, but it really is so much easier and happier to focus on a party than the fact that your baby is growing up. Even now, one of my best friends just had her baby and I see her pictures of her baby just lying on her chest, and I could cry. I miss those days already! Now, I get so excited if Lila slows down long enough to lean on me. So if you’re a mom and the stress of planning an elaborate party is easier than the emotions of your baby growing up, then know that you are not alone. I am right there with you! Sometimes madness is much, much easier than even a tiny bit of sadness.
So, I have to get back to errands, decorating and preparation so that this birthday will be the best luau ever! All the while trying to forget they fact that a year has already blown by. I really can’t believe it. At all.
I can’t wait to share all the party details on the blog! But until then, I hope you enjoy these photos as a mini walk through the past year we’ve had with Lila Bean!